I HATE boy's night

I think when your boyfriend's perfect woman is Pamela Anderson, you know that you have some big breasts to fill and then claim that you took the implants out, basically, you know you are in big trouble......

I miss you sooo much. me too sweet heart me too! i swear i cheers every shot to you! ok so when will you get me from the airport? .................... ummmm well sweetheart, thursday is actually a boys night......... I HATE BOYS NIGHT! I hate this night among many others ranging from ......... ok fine just boys night! First off here in SA I am probably the only girl that any of these boys hang out with! its boys night every night plus one! On the airplane from cape town to Joburg where my roommate was waiting for me instead of my boyfriend i attempted to make a list of 10 things i hate about boys night and I couldn't get past circle jerks and high fives that i imagined occurring frequently through out the night. Most of the list was speculation but there is one thing we can all be sure of............. strip clubs. and that means vaHinas and breasts. Neither of which personally belong to me which means my boyfriend should most certainly not be looking at them!!!!! Most of my suspicions were right and confirmed by the sly little drunken smile my sweetie could not hide for the life of him. Through out the night i had been texting him various things from cock face to gay lord, to wishing him a good seat in the circle jerk, non of which deserved a response in his mind. I was told by his friend that his fone was left in the car. Another sly little smile told me that was a complete lie and i would be castrating his friend the next morning for lying to me. Sadly my anger usually dissipates when i can predict everything, call him on it, and realize i can at least guilt trip him for the next month or so. And secretly I cared but i didn't and was more than happy to hear that he was one of the few that didn't get a lap dance. Have i lost a battle for women everywhere by being so content with so little? or am i just that cool of a girlfriend? probably the losing battle one huh? I told him that i would exact my revenge and he told me that he wouldn't mind if i had gone to a males stip club, yes that is exactly what would even out the odds, all i need every once and a while it to go to a male strip club and watch some random guys penis flop around, maybe if i am lucky he'll rub his wrinkeld balls in my face (oh the joy), which lets face it balls are ugly and i dont know how guys got to be soooooo proud of them! not to mention i never liked the song its raining men so i really dont think it bodes well for me.

I am also a little ashamed to admit that for a second i felt bad for the boys, when one of my friends said in the most innocent way possible "they are just so nice! and they make me feel so good about myself" i actually felt bad! like these poor little boys just want a girl to be nice to them while simaltaniously rubbing their genitals in their face. That's all they really waaaaant! some genitaallllls, when the night is done oh boy just want a nice striiipper oh boys! (i'm singing to the tune of girls just want to have fun just in case you can't tell) I'll be honest, I'm not particularly nice to guys when i go out, i mean i'm definitely not as nice as a stripper, especially if they don't buy me a drink, and it probably would take a couple of those drinks for me to decide to be so nice to them and on top of that rub my genitals in their face, so really the strip club is the only place for many of these young men to go just to gain some confidence to deal with all us mean girls out at the club! Good job strippers! make those guys feel great! you are doing a service for all of us! cause god knows i don't want to be nice to nearly anyone! so thank you and just keep doing what you are doing! just stay away from my boyfriend you dirty whores.

*just for the record I don't even like that word but i thought it was a funny conclusion, this is why i'd like to create characters for which i wouldnt be held responsible!