You Know you've reached the top when...... (memories from OZ)

You know how they say what comes up must come down, well i have a similar saying. sometimes when you are on top of the world you have to run into a giant ASS poll and fall off your bike. lets start from the beginning. I was feeling fucking good! I had hung out after hours work for a little, chilling and hanging with the boys. My boss had gotten drunk and taught me how to open a beer bottle with a lighter! Thats right boys! I learned your little secret! I know you know how i feel ladies, how many times have you gone to open a beer, searching desperately for a bottle opener and some guy grabs the bottle with a swagger like he is john fucking wayne and pops the top off with the lighter. How many times! Guys dont want to teach you that because they love the power! yet again making themselves the middle man between us and our necessities, cant have a house with out a man, can't raise a family! can't feed yourself! its all a basic manipulation that starts with small things such as opening a beer. Trust me monkeys get theirs, there are no male monkey standing between them and a cold beer! or a banana whatever. Its a sad way of making themselves usefull when really much of the credit goes to the lighter! Either way I learned and its super easy and barely requires any strength, and i am not telling NOONE how to do it! cause lets face it, its only cool when other people dont know how to do it----- change----. As you can see I again like to be tipped but not tip, I am apart of the viscous circle! So i was feeling good! I got cocky. I excused myself around 3 because i still had quite the bike ride ahead of me. I was excited for it! I had just opened a beer with a lighter I could do anything, I was biking nonstop with no hands! I even lit a cigarette while biking with no hands! (sorry mom) I did it successfully and my heart was soaring (needless to say it doesnt take much for me to feel happy) I turned to see a taxi approaching, my one mistake, i turned my body without my hands on the handle bars to keep myself going straight, when i turned back a round a huge poll had jumped out of nowhere! or rather my bike was headed straight for it on the sidewalk. BAAAAAAAAAAAM! Thank god i had my helmet on! It made me think back to when i told my mom that it was the law that oyu had to wear a helmet in melbourne and she could only respond "oh thank god" I bet I looked pretty funny to that taxi driver. I thought: my boss is going to kill me! I was shaking but as they say you cant cry over a bike accident you just have to keep pedaling. In the end I made it home. The damages werent bad, although my bike bell never did work again.