Once my friend said that she'd rather be stabbed then tickled, yes i know extremely dramatic, but i think we can all admire her strong feelings against being tickled and finding an adequate comparison in the mind of a psycho. well i have a similar statement to make. I would rather be slapped in the face then patted on the head. Yesterday it happened to me TWICE i fucking have now idea what i am doing that is just screaming "pat me on the head like a dog or a small child please!" but the people just can't resist and i swear i want to break their hand off every time but instead i have the choice of being treated like a dog or looking like an overreacting weirdo when i quickly jerk my head away and respond with a ninja arm movement. AHHH choices, I think we all know which one i continuously choose!
I hate when you know a punch line is coming, "america huh? my future wife is in america!" "my future wife is in america" "my future wife is in america" he is actually repeating himself because i am not listening, i finally make the eye contact he is vying for.... "jessica alba!" budump chhhh thank you folks he will be here all night with less then mediocre jokes and the tendency to repeat all his less then mediocre thoughts. I'm mean I know but nice doesn't get laughs so call me when it does and ill be the first to start complimenting people to make them laugh.
Repeat after me futbol! soooooccccer! futbol, soccer, futbol, soccer, fuck you dude don't tell me what my reality is. I fucking call it soccer and im not going to fucking conform! I am already saying tomAtos and that is bad enough as far as i am concerned. Not to mention one of the biggest stadiums in joburg is called "soccer city" what the fuck are you on??
I just went to the bar in my neighborhood to see if it was possible to work there. i talked to a manager who seemed nice enough. he told me they were still busy and definitely hiring! Good news right, well then i heard the GREAT news, john was also looking for some white faces so they would definitely be calling me! oh what luck. I kept my smile because i was desperate but i couldnt help feeling i was shitting on all those fat girls that wanted to work at hooters, all those toothless men and women that wanted to be dentists, the illiterates that wanted to teach english and maybe just maybe anybody hoping to get a job without there being an immediate prejudice based on how they look. Well welcome to south africa where jobs can actually be handed out and quite obviously based on your skin color! skin color is not a skill. man good thing i showered this morning! i am really hoping my whiteness just was a shinning beacon as i walked in! ahhhhhh privileged it feels so good and yet makes you want to give yourself a body scrub with sandpaper at the same time!
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