Road Tripping oooooout

warning: this blog is long and only dedicated to the one road trip i did in australia. I think there are good stories but its a long one, not necessarily super important, but i have to publish it because i dont want to forget any thing.

So I stayed in australia for about 4-5 months. Its a huge fucking country FYI. I am proud to say that I did a road trip, sure if you look on a map it is barely a hiuccup away from melbourne but at least i felt as if i were exploring. We went on the great ocean road, some might call it a couples trip but I'm not sure they have ever realized how much some girls enjoy eachothers company. I was lucky enough to do this trip with someone i enjoy immensely. Nothing could go wrong, besides everything. But is that really anything if you laugh about it? Think about this, if you accidentally pooped your pants but then laughed about it, did you really poop your pants?? think about it. Either way we were beyond excited for our little gals gettaway. We rented a car, I borrowed a broken microfone from a friend, we had about 5 bags of candy and 3 bags of hot cheetos, we had a tent, tons of blankets fuck even fun hats int he shape of donkey heads, i mean hello great ocean road we had it all!

we started with a few loose stitches, number one i was given one job. Get the weed. One job! yeah ok push it in my face I didn't do so well. THings were getting dramatic, it really seemed as if we were going to have to do a road trip completely sober well atleast until we could park and drink! scarry! call me nuts but i didnt think it was like the biggest deal, i knew we would have fun witheach other no matter what, but obviously molly did not share my sentiment, i mean the girl was trippin. Finally at the last minute im talking a half an hour before departure i got the hook up. so what was ai really supposed to do? duh a surprise. I planned it perfectly, i told her i had no such luck. she came home fuming, i meant FUMING. she wouldnt let me touch her she was so upset with my failure. I as planning on surprising her on the road but only because i didnt anticipate such a violent initial reaction. I had to immediately plan the surprise! She took one look at the surprise, looked at me, threw her keys down, and locked herself in the bathroom! Surprise! god i love surprises, dont you?? Well she got over it, we packed the car and we were on our way. Not much to tell cept that we had a great time driving, within 10 min i had my microfone out fake singing to etta james at last. We busied ourselves with important matters like would you rather, man makeover, do dump and marry, you know important stuff. We were headed to a free camping site int he middle of now where. We stopped off at the great ocean road entrance and took pictures. I had one of me (im embarrassed to say) taking a bronze statue from behind i guess is the least vulgar way to say it. Regardless im pretty sure it was a classic picture. Oh how we laughed!

We stopped off for chow, not that the pounds of candy werent satisfying every part of me (I think you can only assume that i was physically weak from trying to sustain myself on candy for 3 days) sorry mom and dad. We chose a classic fish and chip shop. You might think this is irrelevant and boring but I am upset and i need to vent! I was debating between the fish and chips and a steak sand which, DAMN TO HELL the great steak and potato company for making me have unrealistic expectations of a steak sandwhich damn them!!! when i say debating i MEAN debating, im talking like 10 minutes, thinking pondering, asking questions..... what kind of steak is it, what can i get on top? is it good? Tell me the truth! it was almost harassment. Stupidly i never thought to ask about the bread. SOLD! i stupidly screamed slamming my wallet on the counter! I dint open the minature box that that fucking fuck handed me until i reached the car, i knew it was going to be bad and i didnt know if i was going o be able to restrain myself from kicking his ass! i opened it up and i saw TOAST BREAD! i mean seriously! that sandwhich was like fucking 10 bucks. Im still not over it. Matters got worst when molly let me taste her calamari ring, salty goodness! she knows i like that! she knows salty goodness is my thing! as one of my good friends how could she have let me make such a bad purchase!!

The sights were gorgeous, simply beautiful! it started to get dark and we still hadnt found the camp site, i slowly realized that i was going to have to be an active passenger as molly kept questioning me.... " what was the name of the last road?" " did we go right or left" which way did the clown fish say to go?" I dont fucking know what are you senile? im the damn passenger! I have no idea im not paying attention, and the guy who gave us directions was dressed like a fucking clown what makes you think i could concentrate on what he was saying!" I raelly had to shape up and start actively participating. Oh the clown fish, we stoped by a birthday party where everyone had really elaborate outfits on, it was 7 so they were still sober but i am pretty sure we could have worked out an invite if we tried harder. We had other things to think about though, like driving in circles to find this camp site. I kept suggesting the sleep in the car idea. I had no problem with that i mean we had like 5 blankets! but nope! we stuck through till we found it! After 2 hours of circling we pulled into the site. (warning cars without 4 wheel drives do not attempt to go up hill) fuck that my driver said and there we went, rev rev went the engine. We eventually had to bail to a smaller hill. Then in the complete darkness we walked down the windyest muddiest path down to the camp site, molly nearly fell infron of a bunch of people. Two trips she positively replied! lets get started! fuck that! i in NOOOOOO ay wanted to bring all of our stuff down and set up a tent in the dark with one light. nope nope nope. We got back to the car and she was trying to inspire me. I concentrated on other things while she gathered the tent. "Biggie?!" what "where are the tent poles???!!!" I think she got as much response out of me as if she had asked where her chap stick was. It was music to my ears. I did not care. She was upset because we had planned all of this and then stupidly forgotten the essentials. needless to say she blamed the surprise. Finally she surrendered we laughed and started to prepare the car for sleep. Sure we had driven around for 2 hours for nothin because we were in fact sleeping in the car at the end but common it was funny. it was alllllll funny until i heard "biggie" what "where is the down blanket?" i lost it! "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GRAB THAT!" so here we were sleeping in the car with a sleeping bag and 2 pillows. while it was prolly the most uncomfortable sleep ever it was still one of the funnest nights! God i love girl time!!! I wasw pretty happy, we had so many stories and it was only the first night. We agreeed that we would tell no one which for satchel means to tell everyone, and we also agreed that we would get a hostel the next night.

The next morning we had a lovely walk though the BUSH. or the jungle. I am so confused by this term "the bush" are we here yet? are we in the bush yet? how do people not say it without laughing com'on! the bush. Back on the road again, life was beautfiul! we went surfing! well if you can call it that, i mostly just feared my life as waves knocked me sideways!! im usually fairly incontrol in the ocean but that day i was relaly loosing my shit! It was fun being in a wet suit, which let me tell you is really really hard to put on! molly nearly shit her self when she saw that i had put it on backwards. Well damn i dont know! that night we rolled into a one horse town and scouted out the hostels. Found one, settled in and started to cook. While grabbing food fromt he car, I hear that dreadful sound again "biggie!" nope nope nope i knew immediately and i was uninterested, i was happy lets eat and party i dont want to look back from here! but ofcourse i looked up and there she was, jaw hitting the floor with those god damn tent poles in hand. we were confused, would have it been dumber to just plain for get them? or just think we forgot them. We were at a standstill and frankly i didnt give a shit. Fuck the tent polls lets eat and party. And party we did. we quickly found the only bar in the town which had a buck hunter in it! and I regulated!!! to be continued......