I love hanging out with boys but sometimes moments come when you know that you just are very different from them. I had one of these moments in Mabula when my boyfriend picked up some small animals pellet poop, put them in his mouth and then proceeded to spit them at me. His friends joined in to have the contest of who could spit them the farthest, this was obviously not the first time occurrence of such a contest. Whats with boys and putting poo in their mouth?? i just don't know if i would be able to convince my girlfriends to put poo in their mouth and spit it a non impressive distance just for the sake of competition..... but maybe i just have never tried!
Look don't get me wrong i send mad props to my boys but i do harbor the secret or rather vocal desire that women could take over the world and break the wills of all men, ok maybe that was a little strong. But seriously i just think that us girls should have each others backs WAY more! Guys, ill tell you what! they fucking LOVE each other! its almost disgusting, sometimes depending on my mood watching guys get along so easily is almost as irritating as watching my boyfriend sleep (seriously it bothers the fuck out of me) his little male brain just switches off the single thought that he has and he just twitches off to sleep. super annoying.
I hang out with mostly boys because lets face it boys know how to chill. I have decided its because women have priorities, they have things to do, they cant just let a drop by turn into a movie and then a BBQ and then maybe a game of Bball i mean com'on i just named like 6 different outfit changes! Girls always have something to do! cant keep the woman down! no but seriously they dont know how to waste time like a man. im not sure if it is a good or bad thing especially because i fall on the side of time waster procrastinator masturbator but i just have to appreciate how many group activities they all participate in! and it seems very healthy as well! I mean way better then a night inhaling toxic nail polish fumes and suffering from the brain damaged caused by one of the violent pillow fights! not to mention the junk food!!! (sticks and sticks of butter!) Boys play sports! start fires, go on missions, plan camping trips (sure they dont have the organization of a woman but at least they are out there roughing it up!) ok i know i am wwayyyyyyyyyyy generalizing right now but i am just saying the exaggerated opinions i have formed by hanging out continuously with majority of boys.
Some times i like to trick the boys i hang with into admitting they actually are sexist machismo men. I joke around a lot with stupid questions that maybe make you laugh, think, vomit, or wonder what kind of child abuse i suffered, but one of them that i believe is very telling is the innocent enough question “if you could take one right away from women what would it be?” ooooooooh and you cant imagine the responses i have had! its almost become a study. Some people say that i am opening a can of beans with worms in it with that question, but i want to know why men are so protected. I mean we women are blamed for everything we do and say, i mean come'on sexual harassment is our fault right? It's like with this question, boys are allowed to think however they want, and if you are going to be offended then you shouldn't have asked the question in the first place. If you didn't want some guy to inappropriately spank you in the work place then you shouldn't wear jeans that show off your perfect ass, right?! that's bullshit. Men get the "get out of jail" care way to freely. Well, we have some boys that don't even hesitate breath or blink before the say something like..... to vote, to leave the house, then some actually will take the time to think or even rethink and give a second answer! that's when we get the real dirt! “to speak!, to think” that's right women mystery uncovered men don't really want us to have any rights at all! they are assholes!!! i always suspected as much so really at this point i just like to see who can come up with a clever witty response and then reflect on how it demonstrates how big of an asshole they actually are. and guess what, they all are.
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Justine Justine - there is no response that will be witty enough and its not that its not witty but they won't get it unless you spit it out with pellet poop in your mouth and thats not even a sure thing .
ReplyDeleteas you know i have a long hx of pondering these sort of things and simulataneously understanding and being disgusted by the whole mess and that Virginia is where Biology comes in... and that's where i got my just desserts because as you know i had a boy and i had to learn boy things ( as if that was easy being all feminist and reluctant as i was - i was pretty much ready to give up all pretence of difference just so i wouldn't have to think about it. I did come to know that it does include a lot of spherical objects and i believe pellets of poop may fall into this... as much as we try to learn about the opposite sex there remains to them a mystery that is seductive and ridiculous
and that is what makes the world go round and makes heterosexual sex so damn sedating i find as i get older it's men i like to be around and what the fuck is that????