Farting boyfriends feminism

There are a couple of things i have wanted to write about my boyfriend for a while, one post i have in mind just basically rips apart and teases everything he has ever said, and thats true love but i think i will make this post about the two things i probably think about obsessively in this relationship, farting and sharing. you might think that these are two opposite things, and you would be completely right, and i agree, i have nothing to relate them, except that they are very much involved in my love life.

so guys fart, they are "allowed" to right? bs! everybody loves farting and why must i deny something so right and funny just because i am in love? to remain sexy? well that boat sailed the other day when my boyfriend did a crotch inspection of my underwear that i left lying on the floor, what can i say hes curious! well although that was embarrassing, i now have given myself free range to fart, ok not really, it is still a battle, he farts all the time but acts super surprised if i do! i have a butt right? i have an ass hole right? i poop right?? ok actually i say that i don't and i am not ready to give that one up so maybe thats part of the confusion, but thats bullshit! Women have to pretend that so many of their bodily functions dont exist! luckily we are allowed to pee but god forbid if i grow hair, fart, sweat, poop, smell, or have a period, i must hide it all!

So i will fart loudly for women everywhere! we can laugh too! its hilarious! sometimes it smells and thats a bummer (especially if you are in a really small place, like the un-ventilated back trunk of a car that you volunteered to ride in so your friend could fit in the car, and you only realize after farting was a bad idea because you first thoughts went to the fact that no one could hear you!), sometimes a little poop might come out, sometimes it might make a really loud trumpet sound, sometimes just air...........

i guess they are kind of like little jokes our body makes, some fall flat, some are great with timing (sitting on the stairs with with lails), and sometimes they are inappropriate, but jesus you must be allowed to make them! I think he is starting to come around, but dont worry ladies i will keep doing them, trumpeting the sound of freedom for the gas of females all around the globe! especially if you had a really funky dinner am i right? i dont think its beans, maybe some nuts and raisins, but i guess you cant make good songs out of those, some people who i will let remain anonymous, are really annoying because when ever they fart they talk about what they ate likes its some kind of excuse (MOM!!!!) and i think you should just be proud and fart loud, ooooo i could make t-shirts, i bet my sister would like one. I forgot that I was supposed to talk about sharing...... thatll be the next post, lets not taint this one.