Tyra Banks: at fault for losing the women's right to vote

I have no problem and I am actually extremely surprised I haven't written it before but an entire blog dedicated to Tyra Banks is YES completely necessary. I honestly feel like i could write a blog after every episode. The woman has officially lost her fucking mind! Or is a robot created by some secret male government agency (the man) designed to keep women dependent on dumb stinky men for the rest of their lives. Of course the men that Tyra puts on a pedastool are good looking and rich. She tries to teach women not to gold-dig ugly old men, but if they are attractive then you have hit the jack pot sista! I believe she actually had a workshop on how to correctly identify a man with money. Now thats a lesson you don't want to miss! I mean you might accidentally get with someone that can't buy you anything! Ewww

She is undoubtedly attempting to teach generations of women how to be the "perfect woman". You watch her shows and learn that you need a wardrobe change, you need to lose weight, men with money are good, and one should NEVER fart in-front of their boyfriend no matter how much time has passed! Its just not attractive ladies, so FUCKING hold it in!!!!!!! Or so says the wife of Howard Stern (She was apart of Tyra's panel of expert idiot judges who were answering all those big questions that we women, just for the life of us, can't seem to figure out!) I have so much fucking hatred in my heart after Mrs. Stern forbid all of the women in the crown to ever fart in-front of a man because it wasn't sexy. WTF is all i have to say! What is this the 1920s? Is the purpose behind everything i do, to attract a man? Where is my own life Mrs. stern? huh?? Haven't you ever seen that T-shirt "its all about me" well they also make that shirt in women sizes and i think it is perfectly acceptable to do things that aren't necessarily attractive but maybe comfortable! Its like sacrifice is synonymous with women. Well i say suck my big dick! cause that's fucked!

Sorry I am getting really vulgar here and I apologies. Seriously that farting comment just left me fuming the entire day! Because ill tell you what, if comfort-ability and being yourself isn't sacrificed, then you sacrifice you image as that "woman" that "whhattah woman" and some times i just don't know which way is up and what is worth more! Your individuality or your sex appeal! In this world they have a funny way of distinguishing the importance. sorry I didn't want to get all serious here, but it was just bound to because i truly believe Tyra is doing some detrimental damage to the women dumb enough to drink the kool-aid or feel the mythical "real" breast of the "real" Tyra banks who some time before she was a international supermodel at 16 managed to have all those real person life experiences that makes her so identifiable today. I mean seriously I have seen the woman try to identify with burn victims. This is getting to be a real problem.

Farting boyfriends feminism

There are a couple of things i have wanted to write about my boyfriend for a while, one post i have in mind just basically rips apart and teases everything he has ever said, and thats true love but i think i will make this post about the two things i probably think about obsessively in this relationship, farting and sharing. you might think that these are two opposite things, and you would be completely right, and i agree, i have nothing to relate them, except that they are very much involved in my love life.

so guys fart, they are "allowed" to right? bs! everybody loves farting and why must i deny something so right and funny just because i am in love? to remain sexy? well that boat sailed the other day when my boyfriend did a crotch inspection of my underwear that i left lying on the floor, what can i say hes curious! well although that was embarrassing, i now have given myself free range to fart, ok not really, it is still a battle, he farts all the time but acts super surprised if i do! i have a butt right? i have an ass hole right? i poop right?? ok actually i say that i don't and i am not ready to give that one up so maybe thats part of the confusion, but thats bullshit! Women have to pretend that so many of their bodily functions dont exist! luckily we are allowed to pee but god forbid if i grow hair, fart, sweat, poop, smell, or have a period, i must hide it all!

So i will fart loudly for women everywhere! we can laugh too! its hilarious! sometimes it smells and thats a bummer (especially if you are in a really small place, like the un-ventilated back trunk of a car that you volunteered to ride in so your friend could fit in the car, and you only realize after farting was a bad idea because you first thoughts went to the fact that no one could hear you!), sometimes a little poop might come out, sometimes it might make a really loud trumpet sound, sometimes just air...........

i guess they are kind of like little jokes our body makes, some fall flat, some are great with timing (sitting on the stairs with with lails), and sometimes they are inappropriate, but jesus you must be allowed to make them! I think he is starting to come around, but dont worry ladies i will keep doing them, trumpeting the sound of freedom for the gas of females all around the globe! especially if you had a really funky dinner am i right? i dont think its beans, maybe some nuts and raisins, but i guess you cant make good songs out of those, some people who i will let remain anonymous, are really annoying because when ever they fart they talk about what they ate likes its some kind of excuse (MOM!!!!) and i think you should just be proud and fart loud, ooooo i could make t-shirts, i bet my sister would like one. I forgot that I was supposed to talk about sharing...... thatll be the next post, lets not taint this one.