long underwear - they make me feel good, I'm not sure why because I am not the biggest fan of underwear in general
Beanie hats - I like wearing a hat that I can potentially turn into a Burglars mask at any given time. It kinda sucks carrying around scissors but I won't sacrifice that potential. I cannot afford to sacrifice any potential especially at this point in my life.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Elderly Weather
I've realized that the weather in Minnesota has made me into an old person, or a boring neighbor, or that friend of a friend you see in the supermarket, all those people that you interact with and all interesting or funny conversation seems to disappear without a trace.
I can't help but talk about the weather, to you, to my friends, family, jesus anyone that will listen. I find this a rather serious trend in most of the Minnesotan youth. The weather and its changes is not a conversation that we reserve and fall back on it is actually one of the most important discussions of the day. I have spent hours with best friends discussing the weather. Is that boring? well maybe yes it is. But I can't seem to stop. I can go from how it has changed, what it was, what it is, and what it will be, while of course remembering all the awful blizzards and snow storms of my youth.
Minnesotan winters scar you. Maybe I am dramatic but I believe that one is left emotionally and sometimes physically scarred from the coldness of our winters. And I believe that typically winter will not turn into spring/summer until it has broken your spirit and left you wishing for death. Only then will the temperature maybe start rising. Now that you know how I feel about the cold I will tell you that I should have been kissing the ground I was crying and whining on last week because at least it was hot and sunny. now BOOM cold, windy, brisk, and I didn't think I could be more upset.
Something about huddling yourself in lots of blanket and bundling while scowling helps you be even more resentful towards.......everything (not that I needed the extra help). I think its something about the physical positioning of your body, all hunched over and protective, like a really pissed off hunch-back witch.
Even though it wasn't cold in the bar last night I felt my body returning to this position as I congratulated my friend on his move out of the country. He had saved the money, bought his ticket, and was ready to fly out of here. And yep! just like you, I thought the only logical thing. This is sooooooooooo NOT fair. How dare he work towards something with hard work and accomplish it. God so not fair. I mean common! just cause I haven't saved any money, don't have a job or a license that means i have to like live in it, reap what I sow kinda shit? nuh-uh no way, way not fair! God i hate the cold weather.
I can't help but talk about the weather, to you, to my friends, family, jesus anyone that will listen. I find this a rather serious trend in most of the Minnesotan youth. The weather and its changes is not a conversation that we reserve and fall back on it is actually one of the most important discussions of the day. I have spent hours with best friends discussing the weather. Is that boring? well maybe yes it is. But I can't seem to stop. I can go from how it has changed, what it was, what it is, and what it will be, while of course remembering all the awful blizzards and snow storms of my youth.
Minnesotan winters scar you. Maybe I am dramatic but I believe that one is left emotionally and sometimes physically scarred from the coldness of our winters. And I believe that typically winter will not turn into spring/summer until it has broken your spirit and left you wishing for death. Only then will the temperature maybe start rising. Now that you know how I feel about the cold I will tell you that I should have been kissing the ground I was crying and whining on last week because at least it was hot and sunny. now BOOM cold, windy, brisk, and I didn't think I could be more upset.
Something about huddling yourself in lots of blanket and bundling while scowling helps you be even more resentful towards.......everything (not that I needed the extra help). I think its something about the physical positioning of your body, all hunched over and protective, like a really pissed off hunch-back witch.
Even though it wasn't cold in the bar last night I felt my body returning to this position as I congratulated my friend on his move out of the country. He had saved the money, bought his ticket, and was ready to fly out of here. And yep! just like you, I thought the only logical thing. This is sooooooooooo NOT fair. How dare he work towards something with hard work and accomplish it. God so not fair. I mean common! just cause I haven't saved any money, don't have a job or a license that means i have to like live in it, reap what I sow kinda shit? nuh-uh no way, way not fair! God i hate the cold weather.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Creating Confidence
Well, this blog might not be for the younger readers but since I know for a fact that my only reader is my aunt, I will not hesitate to include my thoughts and feelings at the present moment.
I have been recently intrigued by the concept of saying encouraging things to yourself in the mirror. A kind of self-self-assurance. They call it empowered living or I guess some people do, ok i know for a fact that one person does. Either way, I have been perusing the internet for what type of compliments one should give themselves, I found various phrases from "you go girl!" (which I won't even waste time explaining how much I hate/love that inspiration rally-ER of an expression) to "you are powerful", "you are strong".
I like the idea but I think personally we are looking at the wrong thing. I would like to put a twist on it. Instead of looking at your face I think you should look at your vagina. I found this article with a series of mirror gazing exercises, I suggest inserting vagina for "reflection", "eyes", "your face" etc.
http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/inspiration-empowered/2009/03/how-do-you-talk-to-yourself.html
I really think it will do wonders for our generation and the sales of crotchless underwear! I am actually considering patenting and publishing this ground breaking idea. And women if you think men haven't been baby-talking their penises since the dawn of time then you are way behind on the curve.
Another idea I have been playing with might seem stupid but if you think about it, they (as in super intelligent doctors) always say the little things make big differences in your life, especially concerning confidence and self-image. This thought came to me as I watched the "Other Boleyn Girl", Ok I am lying, I did see that movie but it only hit me now that it could be named the inspiration for what I like to call "crowning your clitoris". Feeling a little down? Not feeling your worth? Go out to party city, buy one of those fake (real, if you can afford it and I am sure it would work better) king crowns and make your significant other wear it during your intimate hours and tadahhhh you are having sex with a king, which, yes I know what you are thinking, makes you a queen.
While at first I really liked this idea, my mind is always going in circles and now I resent the fact that worth should be given by who you share a bed with, my whole problem with that movie! So better yet, you wear the crown! A bear skin rug wouldn't hurt either. Ok well that's all for now!
I have been recently intrigued by the concept of saying encouraging things to yourself in the mirror. A kind of self-self-assurance. They call it empowered living or I guess some people do, ok i know for a fact that one person does. Either way, I have been perusing the internet for what type of compliments one should give themselves, I found various phrases from "you go girl!" (which I won't even waste time explaining how much I hate/love that inspiration rally-ER of an expression) to "you are powerful", "you are strong".
I like the idea but I think personally we are looking at the wrong thing. I would like to put a twist on it. Instead of looking at your face I think you should look at your vagina. I found this article with a series of mirror gazing exercises, I suggest inserting vagina for "reflection", "eyes", "your face" etc.
http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/inspiration-empowered/2009/03/how-do-you-talk-to-yourself.html
I really think it will do wonders for our generation and the sales of crotchless underwear! I am actually considering patenting and publishing this ground breaking idea. And women if you think men haven't been baby-talking their penises since the dawn of time then you are way behind on the curve.
Another idea I have been playing with might seem stupid but if you think about it, they (as in super intelligent doctors) always say the little things make big differences in your life, especially concerning confidence and self-image. This thought came to me as I watched the "Other Boleyn Girl", Ok I am lying, I did see that movie but it only hit me now that it could be named the inspiration for what I like to call "crowning your clitoris". Feeling a little down? Not feeling your worth? Go out to party city, buy one of those fake (real, if you can afford it and I am sure it would work better) king crowns and make your significant other wear it during your intimate hours and tadahhhh you are having sex with a king, which, yes I know what you are thinking, makes you a queen.
While at first I really liked this idea, my mind is always going in circles and now I resent the fact that worth should be given by who you share a bed with, my whole problem with that movie! So better yet, you wear the crown! A bear skin rug wouldn't hurt either. Ok well that's all for now!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Watching wussy High schoolers
Look at them, so full of potential, young youth, just trying to find their way. New cars, new licenses, new aspirations. High schoolers, young adults, did I mention so full of potential??
As I sit on my front steps chain smoking, with absolutely nothing to do, its around 12 o'clock I just woke up and the kiddies are just getting out for lunch, I think of myself, my own high school days, for about two seconds. But mostly I think about how much I hate them.
Look at them, getting in their cars, taking their classes, little bitches, well ill tell you what, one day they are gonna wake up and smell the shit! It might be after high school, it might be after college, but god help me they are going to realize one day when they are living in their parents basement, sleeping the days away cause its too damn dark down there, wondering how the hell did it all happen, how much I hate them because they are going to hate themselves! Wow that turned around on me quickly.
I'll I am saying is that they better enjoy it now, why they think they are so young and capable of anything, because that's gonna go by fast! They are delusional and that's why I hate them I mean besides the obvious fact that they are all little punks. I swear kids are getting wimpier by the year. I don't know what it is, everything is so rule regulated, everything is so monitored, and we are fostering a bunch of wussies. To make my point every once and a while I like to cross the street, that barrier separating me from them, and pick a fight with one of them, just to see their reaction. They'll thank me later because at least they'll be one of the few that got an injection of reality!
And I think getting punched by that surely girl across the street who just smokes and watches the students will be a turning point in their lives, your welcome!
As I sit on my front steps chain smoking, with absolutely nothing to do, its around 12 o'clock I just woke up and the kiddies are just getting out for lunch, I think of myself, my own high school days, for about two seconds. But mostly I think about how much I hate them.
Look at them, getting in their cars, taking their classes, little bitches, well ill tell you what, one day they are gonna wake up and smell the shit! It might be after high school, it might be after college, but god help me they are going to realize one day when they are living in their parents basement, sleeping the days away cause its too damn dark down there, wondering how the hell did it all happen, how much I hate them because they are going to hate themselves! Wow that turned around on me quickly.
I'll I am saying is that they better enjoy it now, why they think they are so young and capable of anything, because that's gonna go by fast! They are delusional and that's why I hate them I mean besides the obvious fact that they are all little punks. I swear kids are getting wimpier by the year. I don't know what it is, everything is so rule regulated, everything is so monitored, and we are fostering a bunch of wussies. To make my point every once and a while I like to cross the street, that barrier separating me from them, and pick a fight with one of them, just to see their reaction. They'll thank me later because at least they'll be one of the few that got an injection of reality!
And I think getting punched by that surely girl across the street who just smokes and watches the students will be a turning point in their lives, your welcome!
Permanent
I now resent the word permanent, I resent the phrase "you are driving me crazy you are so dramatic", I resent everyone in the world that has a license. I gave myself some time before writing this post, I wish I hadn't, the disappointment and failure that I felt would have been so fresh and alive that readers probably could have tasted the tears. Maybe right now you have no idea what I am talking about, maybe you do, I might as well just let it spill, I failed my permit test, and I am sure just like my friend's roommate who repeated back to me in confusion, you are saying "permit?, like the permit knowledge test?". Um yeah did I stutter?? I failed that computer test that 16 year olds pass before they are put behind the wheel of a 2 ton machine that can pretty much kill anything in its path!
To think that my past time of sitting on my steps, smoking, and watching the high schoolers come to and from school could get even more interesting, and by interesting i mean even more full of hate.
I tried not to get dramatic you know, I couldn't let it get me too down, I mean apart from the three hours I spent crying and screaming to the heavens, I thought I handled it pretty well.
I have since separated from it, attempting to find a humor in my ineptitude, or at least appear to be doing so. It was going rather well until one of my friends actually expressed sincere disappointment in me. How dare they! Real friends don't have standards, disappointments, and expectations! They are supposed to be yes men and women, rubbing my back, taking my abuse, and telling me I am perfect. Little do they know my revenge will come at a time when expected reassurance will not!! "your ass does look fat!" "you won't get that job!". Immature? you might think so, that is what they also said when I hung up on them. But in my experience, nothing feels better then a successful hangup, they must be perfectly timed and with an ending snotty phrase that could land you a part on the OC (like 5 years ago). Mine was, "well sorry I couldn't be better for you!" CLICK
Maybe I got what I deserved, maybe spending 5 years in the passenger seat, insisting on shotgun and never paying attention to the road wasn't enough to teach me what i needed to know for the test, maybe those two hours that i skimmed the drivers manual while watching a movie wasn't enough! Who really knows! All i know is that third times a charm and the god damn department of driving ain't gonna hold me back, whether they like it or not I make an oath to be on the road risking both my own and other people lives in at least the next week!
oh and permanent, just sounds like permit, so i hate it
To think that my past time of sitting on my steps, smoking, and watching the high schoolers come to and from school could get even more interesting, and by interesting i mean even more full of hate.
I tried not to get dramatic you know, I couldn't let it get me too down, I mean apart from the three hours I spent crying and screaming to the heavens, I thought I handled it pretty well.
I have since separated from it, attempting to find a humor in my ineptitude, or at least appear to be doing so. It was going rather well until one of my friends actually expressed sincere disappointment in me. How dare they! Real friends don't have standards, disappointments, and expectations! They are supposed to be yes men and women, rubbing my back, taking my abuse, and telling me I am perfect. Little do they know my revenge will come at a time when expected reassurance will not!! "your ass does look fat!" "you won't get that job!". Immature? you might think so, that is what they also said when I hung up on them. But in my experience, nothing feels better then a successful hangup, they must be perfectly timed and with an ending snotty phrase that could land you a part on the OC (like 5 years ago). Mine was, "well sorry I couldn't be better for you!" CLICK
Maybe I got what I deserved, maybe spending 5 years in the passenger seat, insisting on shotgun and never paying attention to the road wasn't enough to teach me what i needed to know for the test, maybe those two hours that i skimmed the drivers manual while watching a movie wasn't enough! Who really knows! All i know is that third times a charm and the god damn department of driving ain't gonna hold me back, whether they like it or not I make an oath to be on the road risking both my own and other people lives in at least the next week!
oh and permanent, just sounds like permit, so i hate it
Friday, September 18, 2009
Reflections, Rebirth, and roommates
I must reflect on the past week, because I have begun a new life, that is why I titled my blog rebirth, My two new, yet old roommates raised me as a child, they bathed me, they fed me, they put me to spleep, they supported me, and they foolishly thought that a college diploma would end these duties. Now, being reborn, i spend most of my day on their floor crying in fetal position and if I am not doing that I am downloading stuff on the computer in my underwear, which I will brag is pretty advance for a born again infant.
My roommates are pretty cool, a little strict you know, they both get up super early to go to work and I think they both secretly think they are better then me. They always casually talk about their jobs, I think they resent the fact that I am younger then them, god they will never stop living in the past. They both just went to the doctor, together of course, losers, and I guess one of them is losing muscle mass in their ass, I wonder if the test for that was just a firm slap and grip to the ass by our doctor. I don't think there is anything to trip about, I mean as I get older I wouldn't mind my ass getting cushier if my life wasn't, at this point you gotta have something to just lean back and take a load off on. I guess you want to stay healthy though, they are both always on my back about smoking ciggs.
But really god damn it, I have no job, no car, no license, I live alone in my parents basement, and sometimes i need to chain smoke just to get me through the day.
I don't know when it is appropriate to publish and start a new post, is it daily, is it topic change? As I come to a rather sore topic I think I will call for a new post.....
My roommates are pretty cool, a little strict you know, they both get up super early to go to work and I think they both secretly think they are better then me. They always casually talk about their jobs, I think they resent the fact that I am younger then them, god they will never stop living in the past. They both just went to the doctor, together of course, losers, and I guess one of them is losing muscle mass in their ass, I wonder if the test for that was just a firm slap and grip to the ass by our doctor. I don't think there is anything to trip about, I mean as I get older I wouldn't mind my ass getting cushier if my life wasn't, at this point you gotta have something to just lean back and take a load off on. I guess you want to stay healthy though, they are both always on my back about smoking ciggs.
But really god damn it, I have no job, no car, no license, I live alone in my parents basement, and sometimes i need to chain smoke just to get me through the day.
I don't know when it is appropriate to publish and start a new post, is it daily, is it topic change? As I come to a rather sore topic I think I will call for a new post.....
The bad news
Well, I got all excited about blogging, naturally, only to realize that my little sister is way better at it, so good at it that she stopped blogging almost 3 months ago! Check her out at liquidyingyang.blogspot.com. I wish i was so good at blogging that i didn't even have to do it. With my luck and illiteracy I will probably be blogging until I kic the buket real hard.
Basically Beginning Blogging
Well, this is beyond exciting, I'm blogging, I'm a blogger, I now have purpose! Even if it is to wallow in my self-pity about my lack there of. I chose this pretty rose pink crap because I wanted to give my initial blogging a sweetness that my writing will lack. I can already tell the blogging is going to be a hard blow to my social interactions, not uttering a word for fear that I'll waste good blogging material, quieting my humor so to not repeat my bloggs and show myself for a big repeating phony! But at least blogging is in a somewhat memorialized, preserved world where I can have proof of what i hope successful blogging and thus incredible humor, wit, and intelligence. I just realized the blogging world is where i still feel i have any potential at all.
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