Chain Male Damnation

I thought chain mail stopped after 8th grade, they were always a point of contention for me since the number of emails that I knew always seemed to be just under the required amount that would bring me a happier life. They used to promise cool things like your crush falling in love with you! or a really good first kiss!! Sure some would curse you with bad luck or when they weren't messing around the frightening threat of bad sex for life. But lucky me, now i have a boyfriend that sends me religious chain mail. Listen as far as i am concerned if Jesus will bless me after I send this email to * other people then Jesus should sure as hell be working on a blessed and dependable connection! I'd have to imagine he would be at some 24 hours coffee shop, or paying out the ass at some airport. Either way i don't think its fair that the fate of my soul will be decided on my internet connectivity. I mean has Jesus ever TRIED figuring out that whole router thing!?! It's almost impossible and completely frustrating. I mean he probably would have a heads up being Jesus and all, at least when calling his wireless company, i mean who would put Jesus on hold? But in all seriousness, I really wouldn't put anything past those people that work for Quest, heathens.