why I hate sharing

Ummmmmmmmmmm duhhhhhhhhhh because it sucks!!!!! what is good about sharing? ill tell you absolutely nothing. I mean i can share certain things, water, space, clothes, people, time, whatever anything but FOOD!!!! It sucks! Especially if you eat food like napoleon attacked somewhere, with precision, ruthlessness, and thought! (maybe, i dont know much history) Like in battle plan I save certain pieces for certain moments, each bite is destroyed at my will and an empty plate will be my victory! BUT without fail every time i am about to take maybe that "best" bite, that last bite, or the bite you have been waiting for, I hear that voice (it might as well be the trumpet of the defending army!) that voice i love yet despise "can i have a bite?" can you? can you have this bite that i have prepared for me??? mocking me with the question format, as if i have a choice!!! Although i scream fuck no! he always gets it, manipulation people, its a sick game.

The only good think about sharing is revenge, you altruistic people might say its about making that person happy but lets face it if they wanted a sandwich then they should have made one for their god damn selves. Sharing revenge is very simple, you dont need to even be hungry because a bite is all it takes, i found that the last bite is particularly tasty, not the food, the pain, the pain you see in his eyes as he relinquishes that last rolo!

Ok ok ok fine I'll admit it, sharing is also good because that person might have something really delicious in the future and you can force them do give you a bite because you gave them a bite before, but then you better watch out cause they might use this bartering system on you next time you buy a really good donut or make a really good omlet! and it goes on and on, gets a little confusing as well. Because not only is it sharing but its also about what you CHOOSE to share, to slices of toast, one is the end part that everyone hates, the other, a middle (mmmmm yum) which one do you keep which on do you take. this is a harder choice then sharing, because this like sharing might come back to reward you or bite you on the ass, but lets face it, you take the good one! then you eat it as fast as possible before your boyfriend can finish the sucky one and ask for your last bite! which prolly wont happen because the better one was bigger so it takes you longer to finish eating it! you know what that mean!!!? you gotta hustle!

I think you understand my feelings on the subject, or at least my now you know i am a giant selfish fatty that hates the world and loves donuts! But in this large world, full of people, caring people, slender people, people with large hearts and more motivation to share......i find a boy exactly like me! diabolical!!!!!!!!!!! he might not admit it but i know he hates sharing just as much as me, he is better at it in some ways, but i think thats just cause i never really ask people to share, if i want something ill make it myself, buy it myself or have my own, so i dont really expect someone to ask me for mine! He is not that way, his mind automatically goes to sharing, yuck! and trust me he has a big bite. I usually use the feed to them bite method, place your fingers to the spot that you are willing to share to, dont forget position it so they get the hard part, or the crust etc. I will say in return he does always give up a a bite in return, and despite the fact that i usually don't ask i now go out of my way to have a bite of whatever he is eating, just so i can get mine right!!??

He is really bad at the "picking the best" category. He offered me some eggs yesterday. how sweet right? yeah right, until i went into the kitchen and saw that he was giving me a fried egg that somewhat resembled a shrunken deflated, yep ima sayit, penis. Well mister, that is exactly why i took the good bowl of pasta last night! you can see what a vicious circle this can become. Funny enough we each always make a smart comment, like "oh i see you took the better one" like we would have chosen the self-sacrificing path.

I really am trying to get better i swear! But its just hard when you are eating something delicious and he turns around to ask for a bite and you know its coming because he was looking at it with that look in his eye, but luckily he gets distracted by someones else's question and you can just quickly shove the whole thing in your mouth before he turns back around!!!! BREATH!

Needless to say i have become a really fast eater

even if we are eating the same thing he wants a bite! it never ends! and sometimes i can see him eating his meal super fast because he wants to take a bite of mine before i finish, and you know i have to keep up! so basically every meal becomes a face shoving competition with my boyfriend. Maybe one day it won't suck I have to say that i will always share with him because he always will with me, and i might hate it but i guess thats what a relationship is right? a bunch of sharing that you dont want to do but love is stronger then desire, or at least you make it