What the Crap is this crap

I don't really want to specify what about but I just wanted to write a general message, what the crap is this crap, in general what the effe is going on around here, i mean have we all lost our minds, is this youtube stuff over, is it too late to become a youtube sensation because if it is i am just going to end it here and now! YEAH MOM I WROTE THE GOD DAMN THANK YOU LETTERS!!!!!!!!!! god my roommates are pushing me closer to the edge every damn day. And so are dumb people now that youtube has been mentioned. OK lets see what I have to add for the day........ sometimes i just cant stop my mind, I wish it were spitting out smart equations and inventions but instead they seem more the mismatch weird halucinations of someone on meth. Hippos dancing, mountains talking, what the hell am i going to do with that shit. GD!!! Ok i gotta go this is enough venting about nothing, i think i feel better.

Hoarding

Is it bad that at times while looking through my things i feel a kindred to the lord of the rings character golom? My roommates had a garage sale today, obviously i slept through it, i mean come'on it was like from 9 - 1, but last night as i looked around my room for things i would like to contribute i found myself stroking many things whispering my precious to it and i think that's when i realized i was a hoarder, i am not talking TLC "i didn't notice the rotting pumpkin in front of me" hoarding but the kinda organized pack rat "i cant throw anything away cause i truly believe that one day it might be valuable and i will get tons of money for it", well i hate to break it to my self, but i really really highly sincerely doubt that will ever happen, but because i am talking to myself you can tell that i still like to think there is a chance and that's why i made it a doubt instead of a fact. Too be continued.....

Bloody aftermath

As I dragged my entire body through my door, without even a thought about the blood marks I was leaving across the rug, i should have know the following morning would be a rough one. I secretly knew that my lame roommates who had stayed in the night before would be judging me from closed doors and most likely right in front of my face. I woke up at 10 to wash the blood off, and really nothing feels better then watching the days blood stain the bottom of your shower. My mom followed me down stairs asking me how many cigarettes i smoked while my dad questioned how many drinks I had. I didn't have the time or patience to think of a lie to either one of them, so i just grumbled and swore. I considered bragging to them that while many of my friends had lost phones and wallets I had managed to hang on to all of my shit but I kind of knew it wouldn't impress them the way it should have.

Name name bo bame bananana fo fame

Names sometimes really come in handy when getting to know a person. I personally believe that you can really trust in a name to get a little more personal with someone. Like-wise as a parent you have to be really careful about what you name your child, that name will help those around your children make judgments and accurate decided on ways to tease them, make them feel like crap, and define them for years to come.

I might take this matter somewhat personally because if I was born with a penis, which i was not, my parents were thinking of naming me Herman or Giacomo. Barbarians. Luckily my vagina gave me something a little bit more then just my feminine wilds, it also gave me a beautiful name!

Either way, I write this blog as a warning to the future parents of america, but why assume that only Americans read my blog? so, of the WORLD! I warn you, if you name your daughter Shelly, she will be smelly, if you name your child Marty, they will definitely have a very severe cases of the fartys, and if you name your kid Chester, this might only be a fact, but he will be a molester, and if you name your son Herman, well i don't know what that rhymes with but most likely he will be some kind of pedophile as well. I am sorry if I have offended anyone of said names but since I know the names of my only two blog followers which might rhyme with boosin (see!) and scary (told ya) I am not that concerned.

So hear me now, really watch out, and though you might think you are super hip and on the edge of cutting new names, don't name your children anything along the lines of "mostitute" "kalcoholic" or "turderer" cause I think we all know how those stories will end. Thank you good night

Justine Queen

Mom-date

The other day was really special, me and my roommate went on a mom date. We went to two movies in a row, maxed out on candy and popcorn, and we even went above the speed limit while driving to the theater, god we were so wasted! Ok not really, there would be no way my roomie could drive, my mom has been such a light weight since I can remember. We had a really good time, stealing things and sneaking into places is so much more fun if you can convince a 48 year old woman to do it with you. For some reason its like its not gonna be that big of a deal if you get caught.

Half the time when you are caught doing something wrong they only make a big stink out of it to make a point, to teach you a lesson, its highly doubtful they haven't done the same or don't think its downright hilarious that you just walked out of the Halloween store claiming you came in with the chicken suit on. Either way, why would someone waste a lesson on a mom and daughter? They obviously are a lost cause as a very successful pair.

Plus I have completely ignored the awesome fact that no one ever doubts the actions of a mother and daughter, no one suspects, no one even blinks an eye, so what! they could have sworn they saw you two 2 hours ago walking into whip it, there is no way you could be just wandering the halls of the theater sneaking into extra shows, no way! and that's how its done! when there is no suspicion there is no way of getting caught! We were feeling pretty good about ourselves, maybe we were pushing it when we smoked a bowl in the theater bathrooms but the moment momsies started getting all paranoid I knew it was a big mistake. ok not really, it was a GREAT idea! but she was loosing her cool.

As I was having a shove my face contest with myself I realized that sneaking into the movies with my mom is one of my favorite things to do on a Friday when I have no plans or jobs to keep me from doing so and my mom is playing hookie from work.

A new page

Yeah, its happened! I am this close to success! (fingers showing a small space between them) I am this close to a job, a car, and a real deal life! How did I do it!? I bought a day planner! Once I got this planner I just knew things were about to blow up. My logic is undeniable, you get the planner and you will have things to plan. Its the long asked question, which came first the chicken or the egg? well i think its a planner. I now feel like my life is so hectic and begging for organization, but luckily enough I have this planner. Pretty soon my days and these pages will be filling up with events and high paying jobs, maybe even parties to celebrate the success of all these jobs. My planner will now be my best friend! My right hand man! actually maybe my right hand plan if you get what I mean. Either way I can now take a sigh of relief because my planner will do it all for me. Geez all this planning has tired me out! I think i'll take a nap.

The first date I put down was my birthday and sub-sequentially the ZOMBIE PUB CRAWL!!! probably my two most favorite days happening at the exact same time! how dangerous! I felt my planner shudder just writing about it!